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About one in every 100 searches was for such material, and about 1.6 percent of search results received contained such material.Because of the size of the Gnutella network, which had a population of 1.81 million users that year, thousands of child-pornography related searches are being conducted every minute. Even the experts were puzzled by the ciphers in some of these searches. Taking a walk, for example, can put a lot of pressure on two people who have just met. Question from Jeannie from Cleveland: My 22-year-old son lives in the house and I want to date. You might meet your early dates outside the house, or not bring them to the house unless the relationship is becoming more important. I don't think it's fair, but it's probably true that gray hair is a signal to men that a woman is older and he may or may not like her ability to embrace her own aging in that way. There are also sites that are primarily about friendship or finding someone to do things with. However, if you are conservative about sexuality, try and date someone who is also conservative about sexuality, and wants a deeper commitment first.

Should my courtship techniques be the same as when I was in my 20s? Question from Randi: What do you think about long-distance relationships? They take a lot of attention, by e-mail, by phone, sacrificing money because the cost can become difficult.

As a proof-of-concept, human volunteers unversed in the child-pornography lexicon were given 10 popular Gnutella code words, such as "ITA" (Italy) or "PTHC" (Preteen Hardcore) and then asked to guess which were related to child pornography.

The volunteers succeeded less than half of the time.

"If this is something that any government is mandating a social-networking service do," says John Morris, general counsel for the Center for Democracy and Technology, "then that raises enormous challenges." He says he would have no problem with social networks voluntarily cooperating with law-enforcement agencies and disclosing their privacy practices to customers—as they do now—but a government mandate would place an enormous burden on sites that play no role in the distribution of child pornography and threaten the privacy of law-abiding citizens.

"A huge problem with any sort of mandate is it is very hard to define what a social-network site is without sweeping in every blog in this country and Ebay and Amazon, all of which allow you to have profiles about yourself." Anthony Finkelstein, a computer scientist at University College London who has worked on privacy tools to help agencies share data about child welfare cases, simply feels like the Isis Project's blanket monitoring strategy is misguided. On balance, I'm not 100% convinced, but I think it's worth some further investigation." His biggest concern is that Isis, like a neighbor's infuriating home alarm, is bound to produce a lot of false positives that need to be investigated by law-enforcement officials.

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  1. Short with wavy hair, he had the longest lashes I had ever seen on a man, and was much younger than I. The most refreshing part of it was that our relationship challenges had nothing to do with the disability.